Ways to have a great relationship with your mother in law

Could your relationship be improved?

Don't try to take her son away from her- Make sure that he still makes time in his schedule for his mum. He now has two women in his life and needs to strike the balance between you both, so ensure that you don't monopolise all his free time.

Spend time with her- Don't just see her when he's there- take her shopping, go around for a coffee and go out to do girly things together. It gives you a chance to bond and do things without the men.

Think of her as your adopted mum- If you can't get in touch with your own mum or she isn't around; go to your mother in law for help or a chat. She is a mum, a woman and partner so she's just as qualified to advise if your mum has no time to spare.

Listen to her- She has known your partner longer than you- if she has some insights in how to deal with her son in times of stress or heartache- take them on board. She was with him during his most difficult teenage years- she is very wise about his behaviour both good and bad.

Don't resent the time he spends with her- If he needs his weekly visit to see his mum- don't challenge it- just go with the flow. He doesn't moan about the cost of your phone bill to yours so it works both ways.

Show and tell her how you feel- Give her cuddles and acknowledge the things she does for you. The more honest and at ease you are with your mother in law the less your partner has to worry about your relationship.

Be yourself- You may watch your swearing around your mother in law out of respect but don't hide your true self. She will know if you are hiding aspects of your personality- her son fell in love with them all- chances are she will too.

Talk her son up to her- She will be overjoyed to hear that her son makes you happy. His earliest female influence was her, so it's good to report that he has taken on board her teachings on how to treat women properly.

Be kind to her family- Even if you don't always agree with their ways- try your best not to make things awkward for her at social gatherings. Be civil so she doesn't feel any divide between family members.

Tell her that you love her son- She needs to know that he's loved in return so reassure her that his feelings are reciprocated and that you would do anything for him at any time because you are a team.